Chapter 3 – Old Dog, New Goddamn Tricks

Cullen POV

"Your fist needs to be tighter."

"My fist is about as tight as it's gonna get, Edward."

Uh huh.

"Well then make it fucking tighter than tight, Jesus."

"I can't. It fucking hurts."

"I don't give a shit if it feels like your tendons are gonna snap like a dried out rubber band, tighten it…and watch your goddamn mouth."

Seth was whining.

Which pissed me the fuck off.

He's the one that wanted these lessons, he's the one that wanted to be a bad ass and yet here he was, complaining like a goddamn girl who got her vanilla fucking pudding taken away in the middle of her kindergarten lunch hour.

Time for a little bit of eye-chology-psay e-verse-ray on the id-kay.

"You should go home," I told him, frowning a little while I pulled my sparring gloves off. "Clearly you're not ready for this, kid, I'm sorry I even let you..."

"What? Yes I am."

"Nah, it's too hard, too advanced for your scrawny ass."

I started gathering my shit, walking toward to the front of the gym.

"Edward!"

I stopped and waited.

Bring it, kid.

"I won't complain anymore, I swear."

I turned around to look at him and dropped my bags, then crossed my arms, jetting my chin out a bit, waiting again as he took his stance and did the goddamn kata.

With tight fucking fists.

I also thanked the gods he didn't let me leave because hell only knew I didn't wanna face what was outside waiting for my ass.

When he was done…doing it fucking right this time, twice…I stepped closer to him and threw a punch.

He blocked it so I threw another, then a side kick and a round house.

I got him with the palm fist though. Right in the chest.

Ouch.

"Stay centered."

He nodded and we started again.

"So when do I graduate to gun toting?" he asked, ducking out of my range as I swung at him.

"You don't really need a gun, Seth, guns are…" I threw another basic punch at him and nearly clocked him again.

I almost felt bad about that.

"…mostly for show, good block."

He huffed as he pushed away my right hook and said, "Yeah, yeah."

I was impressed at how well he defended himself but of course then he had to spend his typical ten seconds to bask in the fucking glory of blocking Edward motherfuckin' Cullen.

After I rolled my eyes at the little shit, I swept my legs under him, throwing his ass down onto the mat, hard.

While he was checkin' his head for permanent damage, I was laughin' my ass off when I heard a familiar female murmur from behind me.

"I'm impressed Mr. Cullen, Edward Cullen," she teased. "Not only do you save damsels in distress, but you spend time molding the youth of our great Nation's Capital as well."

Seth pushed himself up to sit upright and scowled at the blonde.

"I'm not youth, I'm practically seventeen!"

I smirked. A little. But only 'cause he was shaping into quite the smart mouthed little shit if ya ask me.

Before turning around to confront my so called goddamn damsel, I helped him up and handed him a towel.

"Good job, why don't you uh…." I nodded toward the showers and Seth gave me a look as if to ask me what in the hell I thought I was doing but I saw his look and raised him a glare that said don't fucking question me and do what I goddamn say, for Christ's sake.

And he did.

Then I went about getting' my own shit together.

The blonde didn't say anything after that and I wasn't playin' her game so…I swung my bag over my shoulder before goin' to get a goddamn shower myself until I figured, it was way to big of a coincidence that I never saw this lady before yesterday, and now today, she's at my gym.

What am I like a criminal magnet?

"Are you stalking me?" I teased, looking at her through narrowed eyes, tryin' to break the ice a little.

She smiled a small one for me and just simply said, "I have business here, I happened to notice you with that…child…and thought I'd come thank you again for yesterday."

Uh huh.

"Ya know I never did get your name."

"I didn't think it was necessary bein' that you had your...girlfriend? There with you and all."

Eyelash batting.

Was she fucking kidding me?

"She's my partner…" In more ways than one, but you don't need to know that. "And I still don't have your name."

I smiled, hiding the irritation I was feeling toward my fake victim of a fake purse snatching.

'Cause I'm a manipulative sonofabitch, if nothin' else.

Not that I was about to believe anything that came out of her mouth but hey, maybe I could get her to give me an alias she'd used before and get the Jazz meister to find a lead on it.

I mean, shit, I'm not a dumb motherfucker, ya know? Contrary to popular motherfuckin' belief. It didn't take a genius to see she was attempting to play me.

I just didn't know why.

Yet.

"Jane," she finally said and then lifted a hand to me.

You know, the way Vivien Leigh did in Gone with the Wind when Scarlett was straining her ass to get Rett's attention.

Not that I gave a goddamn.

I eyed her a little, taking her hand in mine and kissed the back of it, keeping the eye contact the whole time.

Listen, don't fuckin' judge me, the purpose was twofold for your infor-fucking-mation.

Get on her good side. If there was one, and keep an eye out for clues.

'Cause I'm always fucking lookin' for clues.

I'm a twenty-four-seven kinda guy, what can I say.

Her skin was soft enough and yet, not enough, know what I'm sayin'? And it smelled like something.

Something someone else mighta passed off as her being a smoker maybe, only she didn't have those fucked up creases around her mouth that smokers got after a while.

Sure, she coulda been new to smokin'…but I highly doubted it. She looked about late twenties, early thirties, why would she start smokin' now?

I mean unless she had a goddamn death wish or some shit like that.

Nope.

It was something else entirely and from the glassy eyed look on her face, my new friend probably thought she'd washed the residue away only little did she fucking know, I'm like a goddamn Bassett Hound.

Only handsome.

"Well, pleased to meet you, Jane," I told her and then, "You got a last name?"

She raised an eyebrow at me and said, "I don't give that information out until a second date, Mr. Cullen."

Nice use of the female persuasion.

"Well, maybe we'll have more time to get better acquainted some other time," I countered and figured I was closing in on her queen with my stallion…or, knight, whatever.

"I'm sure we will," she answered and then went on to see to her fake business with the gym reception area and I took a goddamn shower, which if I'm being one hundred percent honest, I really fucking needed.

Badly.

She was gone by the time Seth and I met outside and I was one depressed sonofabitch once I eyeballed my ride.

I sighed.

Hard.

"I can't believe I gotta drive this piece of shit around today."

Seth laughed as he got in.

"It's not that bad Edward, I kinda like it."

"Want it?"

"Bella'd kill you."

"True this, kid….true this," I said as I made several attempts to start Shitty Shitty up…she finally gave into me after about the fifth try and I rolled my eyes as we pulled into traffic.

Luckily, our first stop was the Aston Martin car dealership and I wasn't gonna be in vehicle hell for much longer but as we walked around lookin' at the newer models, I realized Seth was bein' a slacker and didn't seem all that excited about test drivin' these motherfuckers with me.

I mean, what seventeen year old dude doesn't wanna fucking drive around in an Aston Martin?

Seriously.

"What's up, you sick or somethin'?" I asked him as we arrived at the front of the lot.

I licked my lips and attempted to put Eddy Jr. in check over his DBS UB-2010 Limited Edition model hard on.

Fuck me, that is bad to the bone.

"Nah."

Did he say something? Oh yeah.

"Grades?"

"Nope."

Hmmm.

"A girl?"

He rolled his eyes at me.

Hey, it was worth a shot.

"What's up, then, kid?"

"I just…never mind."

I stopped and in turn, stopped his ass.

"Seth."

"These are great and all, Edward," he motioned at all the fucktabulous goddamn vehicles within arms reach. "…but….I mean, aren't you wanting something…different?"

Was he serious? 'Cause that shit just does not compute.

"Huh?"

"You know, other than a Vanquish?"

"I'm sorry, What?"

Seriously, what was he saying?

Seth laughed at me and punched my arm, something he'd fucking picked up from Emmett and I made a mental note to break his ass of that habit.

We debated the pros and cons to the Vanquish for about ten minutes before I finally told him, "Okay, tell ya what…you show me what you had in mind, and if it makes a good enough case for being the new and improved bat mobile, then I'll pay you a fucking finders fee."

"Sweet!" he squealed and we got BACK into goddamn Shitty Shitty and were off to…you know, after another four or five engine turn overs.

A fucking junk yard?

"Seth, seriously, what the fuck?"

The pip squeak little fucker actually had the nerve to put a hand on my shoulder.

"Edward, follow me."

He got out and although I was having some serious second fucking thoughts about the decision making skills of a man who lets a seventeen year old talk him into shit, I followed him and reminded myself that worst case scenario, I was out a couple of hours but at least I wasn't gonna be dishin' any money out to the little wackadoodle.

When I caught up to my co-hort, he was chattin' it up with someone who looked like he maybe owned the place, although…why you'd admit to owning a shit hole place like that, I had no goddamn idea.

As I approached them, Seth was beaming. "Edward, this is Paul, he runs this place, and man, he's still got it."

"Got what?"

"Come on!" he said and then ran off like a kid at Disney, only…less the happy smiley mouses and shit, and more rats with big fucking teeth that would tear into your ass if you stay in one place too long.

Which I didn't.

Paul didn't say much, he just turned and went back to his "office" and I tried to follow the sound of Seth's squeaky shout outs.

I gotta say, I wasn't expecting what I found when I finally caught up to the little fucker.

Or shall I say, the genius little fucker.

"Holy mother of golden goddamn gooses, Seth, how'd you find this thing?"

I whistled as I walked around her, crossing my arms, checkin' out the tail pipes, admired the details in the sidework.

Holy shit is that an original logo?

"Fuck. Me," I whispered and then heard Seth's giddy as shit giggle snorting as he watched me watching the car.

Actually, you don't call what this was a car, my friends…you call it a goddamn legend.

"So you're sure this is the car for me," I prodded, makin' sure he was sure of himself. It was in his eyes, I didn't need to ask him, but I wanted to hear him say it.

"I'm sure Edward, it's practical…and cool."

And that is was, my friends. That is was.

It didn't take long to run the whole expense report through my head and make a decision on that shit.

"Alright, ya sold me. I'll take her."

"Seriously? You haven't even checked under the hood."

I shook my head. "Doesn't matter, I'm gonna have Rose overhaul her ass."

"Yes!" he fist pumped the air and then held his hand out to me for his just reward.

Now I coulda fucked him over for not getting' the deets before making a deal with the goddman devil, but I figured, seriously, he'd just landed me a fucking gold mine and I wasn't jippin' his ass outta nothin', he deserved that shit.

So I handed him a crisp clean hundred dollar bill and told him I'd give him the rest later.

"The rest?" he asked, looking at the bill like it was a fucking foreign antibody or somethin'.

"Yeah, fucking later, Seth, I'm not a goddamn ATM, ya know."

"You do know you just handed me a hundred dollars, right?" he asked, unsuredly, wondering if he should have brought it to my attention or not.

"Yeah, and I'll give you the other four when I get the fuck home," I told him.

Jesus.

Pushy little fucker, I thought as I smiled at the wheel rims. One was dented, but that was fucking fixable.

I didn't notice when the kid fell on his face, only when he got up and brushed his self off, tucking the hundred into his pocket like it was a goddamn love note or somethin'.

I shook my head and we made our way back out to pay for my new, sweet as fuck piece of machinery.

I was one happy ass sonofabitch by the time I dropped Seth off at home and had gotten to Rose's and she was more than happy to agree to work on my new ride.

The woman was almost…almost as excited as I was about that shit. She knew her cars, ladies and gentlemen. My brother was lucky to have her ass.

Considering he didn't know much at all.

She had already come accustom to bringin' my niece to the shop with her and I played with Lilly as Rose gave my new baby a once over.

"So, what'd ya think?"

"I think it's doable, Cullen, but it's gonna take me about a week or so, depending on whether I can get the right parts in and whether or not I can get some help."

"Seth'll help, he likes cars."

And won't mind at all getting away from paperwork bullshit to hang out with a tall as fuck busty blonde in a work suit.

Hmmm.

"Got anything I could borrow in the mean time?"

"You mean, you're not happy with Shitty Shitty?" she smirked, sticking her head back up under the hood to avoid laughing at me.

How'd she know I named her that?

Fucking Emmett.

Shit, I wonder if Swan knew.

"Are you fucking kiddin' me, Rose?" I asked her as I made stupid faces at Lilly.

Then I saw exactly what I needed…wanted…could totally fucking see myself takin' home…for temporary, emergency use only, of course.

I nodded at it. "You think I could take that bad boy home?"

Rose followed my line of sight and laughed. "You're just itchin' to fight with Bella, aren't you?"

Who? Me?

Nah.

I chuckled a little. "Maybe."

"Go for it," she said, shrugging. "The owner's out of the country and won't be back till the end of November."

Cha motherfuckin' ching!

I left a deposit with Rose for the parts and shit she was gonna need, kissed my baby niece goodbye, whispering for her to not say anymore curse words in front of momma and then headed home, leavin' Shitty Shitty, but I'd bring Bella back to get her the next day.

No big.

Right?

Wrong.

In an oh so very she does not look at all goddamn amused with me right now kinda way.

I didn't hear much as I pulled into the garage at the house until I turned the engine off, then I caught the tail end of what must have been one hell of a rant because she wasn't even taking a pause or breath or any of that shit.

"Tell me you did not trade my truck in…for a…HARLEY?

"Settle down, Swan, Shitty Shitty is fine," I said as I removed the helmet and swung my leg over the seat. "I just, needed to drive something home that wasn't a hunk a junk."

"So you decided on a death trap."

"Death trap? Swan…" I slid my hand along the seat of the bike. "This is a lean mean criminal chasing machine, my friend."

She still didn't seem too keen on it.

"And by the goddamn way, this is not a Harley, Swan. This…" I took my hands and made a hard ass double chop at the bike. "Is a fucking Honda."

She rolled her eyes and crossed her arms, headin' in the house and I followed her as she asked another question I'd been waitin' for.

"Where's the Vanquish then? What model did you end up with? Did Seth have fun?"

"I didn't get the Vanquish."

She stopped and I ran into the backside of what I like to call Eddy Jr.'s goddamn alarm clock before she spun around on me.

Damn.

Fuck me now and treat me good.

Or bad, whichever.

"Great, now I'm out a car for another day?"

Seriously, what was with her?

"Swan, the bike? And no, you're not out a car another goddamn day, I got a new…old…er…car, it's just…not a Vanquish."

Her face mirrored what I imagined my own looked like when Seth first asked me if I was sure I wanted one.

Vanquish, that is.

I smiled at her to snap her back into the land of the living and said, "I got an Eleanor," then waggled my eyebrows at her for good goddamn measure.

Nothin.

Hmm.

"Gone in sixty seconds?"

Still, nothin'.

"Come on, Swan, work with me, here."

Wasn't happenin', but I did get a hip tilt. So that was cool.

"Okay, fine, I'll spell it out for ya…she's a 1967 Ford Mustang Shelby GT500."

Eyebrow arching.

Not good.

I was losin' her.

I walked passed her and pulled a beer outta the fridge, handing it to her, then got myself one, 'cause this was gonna be a long afternoon.

"Nick Cage argued it was the best goddamn car to ever hit the streets in his movie version? Only in the original 1974 version, they actually used a 1971 Ford Mustang Fastback…."

I paused, giving her a chance to let me know she had an inkling as to just what the fuck I was talkin' about, but still…nothin'.

"They changed the car because the sixty seven looked a whole hell of a lot better which, I gotta fucking admit…."

I laughed and got near drooling on her end.

"See," I needed a drink before this rant. "…in sixty-five and sixty-six, 'Stangs were the smallest and fucking lightest of the GT350's, a lotta idiots called 'em "Cobras", which," I huffed through my nose and made a face, like the goddamn car snob that I am.

"Anyway…that was 'cause the Ford-powered AC-based two-seat sports car was also being put out by Carroll Shelby during the same two year…so…" I took another sip of the beer and thought Bella was either gonna fall over from boredom or give me a nice nut punch to get over myself with, so I moved away a little more, out of her range.

Just in case.

"By the time Rose is done she'll run faster than the McLaren F1 with a BMW's v12 under the goddamn hood."

Now I was getting' the old cockeyed look.

Time to put her out of her misery, Cullen.

"That's…0-60 in 3.2 seconds…" I took another swig of the cold alcoholic goodness. "Maybe even faster."

"Oh."

I finished the beer off and set it on the counter, noticing the quiet.

"Where's Pup?"

Bella thought about it for a minute then said, "I'm not sure, I know he went out earlier, maybe he found a rabbit to chase in the back yard."

Probably.

"So…you like the car, huh?" she mocked. She liked fucking mocking my ass.

"Yeah," I told her, in near smugness. "And I'm pretty sure the back seat is bigger than the Vanquish, too." I winked at her and finally, fucking finally, I was awarded a Swan smile.

It gave me hope.

You know, like, maybe there was a chance for some…makin' up sex…even though I had no goddamn idea what we'd be makin' up about.

Make up sex, is make up sex, my friends, you don't look that gift horse fuckery in the mouth.

Know what I'm sayin'?

"Wanna…check the bike out?" I asked her and she did that twisty turny shit with her hair that I like, tightening her lips together, trying her hardest to stay pissed off at whatever the hell she was pissed off at, but failing miserably.

We headed back out to the garage and I threw a leg over the seat. "Wanna take a ride on my love cycle?" I asked, givin' her my soap opera eyebrow flirty thing she liked and she laughed, shaking her head.

"I'm not getting' on that thing while it's moving."

"Well…" I scooted back some. "How about when it's not movin'?"

Bella lifted a leg over the seat but not like I thought she would. She was facing me and she had that look in her eyes.

The one Eddy Jr. was a huge goddamn fan of.

And me, for that matter.

"You okay?" I asked her, puttin' my hands on either side of her face to hold her still so I could kiss her forehead, then I fixed her hair like it was fucked up, only, it wasn't.

Her eyes closed and it literally felt like the weight on her shoulders dissipated right about then.

And hell if I wasn't grateful for that shit.

I could figure out what I did wrong some other goddamn time.

"I'm fine," she rasped a little, letting her hands do most of the talking as they slid up inside of my jacket.

Right where I liked them.

Well, second-fucking-darily speaking, that is.

She titled her head up and put her lips on mine and I felt like it had been goddamn years since she'd kissed me like that and yet, I don't think it had been that long at all.

Her fingers gripped my shirt, pulling at it, tellin' me we weren't gonna fuckin' make it to the bedroom as she inched closer to me, lettin' my hands wrap around her to pull her in even more.

"I thought you were ex-naying the sex-capades?"

I tried to tease her but quite frankly, I could barely get that shit out as she moved her legs so they were wrapped around my hips and then she locked them together behind my ass before she answered me in her own, teasingly, Swan filled way.

"I thought…" she kissed me again, softly but…intimidatingly, just like her. "Maybe I should, you know…" she moved her lips then and kissed my neck, just below the….yeah…right there. "Cut you a break…considering."

Cut me a goddam break anyday, Swan.

It didn't take long to forget the shit we were knee deep in.

Bella just had it like that. All she had to do most days was fucking look at me funny and my dick responded.

This was one of those days, apparently, judging by the velocity of hardness Eddy Jr. was experiencing.

"You wanna have dirty biker sex, Swan?" I asked her, goading her inner bad girl.

Come onnnnnnn, bad girl.

"MMmmm Hmmmmm," was her answer as she unbuttoned my button down with one set of fingers.

Yes!

That and the fact that she was also unbuttoning my jeans for me with her other hand.

She put her mouth next to my ear next. "Remember that time we were at Beedee's Essum?"

Shit.

"Are you fucking kidding me, Swan? That's like asking me if I remember the first time I was sucked off in the back of the Van….quish…"

Silence.

And friction ceasing.

"Which, I don't remember at all because…" I swallowed. "The basis of my goddamn existence didn't even begin until you came along."

My dick did a little prayer in between the beat she skipped but then she pulled back and smiled at me. "Nice save, Cullen."

Ya got that fuckin' right.

I thought about it.

Momen-fucking-tarily.

I mean shit, it was a big bike.

It was do-able.

Anything was fucking do-able, I'd learned that shit early on in life.

A car hood here, basement steps there…you know. When you're a horny fucking teenager, you pretty much take what you can get.

And I got it a lot.

What?

Don't tell Swan that, though.

I helped her with my jeans situation and then obliged her the same with hers before picking her tiny ass up by the waste and settin' her back down onto my dick.

She stopped herself by puttin' her hands on my shoulders for leverage and her hair fell around her face, tickling mine while she pressed herself up against me to let me feel how hard her nipples were through the flimsy ass fabric she'd worn that day.

"Jesus fuck."

That was about all I had, I mean shit, I could feel how wet she was but she wasn't lowering herself yet and I wondered if she was gonna leave me high and dry…so to speak…again but then she said, "I'm sorry about the stupid cards."

Seriously?

I breathed in the shampoo of the week and let it out, half laughing, half beggin' for some fucking friction and told her, "Swan, you don't have shit to apologize for…they're just…"

Then I had to literally stop myself from saying anything else because honestly, I was pretty sure whatever adjective I was about to use would just get me deeper into the pile of shit I'd been diggin' myself into lately.

So I just finished off with, "Not gonna represent us properly, that's all."

It was good enough, because then she slid down onto Eddy Jr. and he shouted, yippeekiyay, as she did it.

Swan rolled her hips and I held on to her with my hands, pushing her into me to reach the spot she loved like a five year old loves chocolate fucking ice cream and it felt…sooo…goddamn good to be inside of her again.

Every time was just like that first fucking time with her.

Puzzle pieces and...fucking perfection.

I didn't pretend to get it and didn't really give a shit if I ever did either as I nudged her shirt out of my fucking way and let my mouth find the little cleavage area of her breasts and kissed her there.

Several times.

Then I started to feel a churning down deep inside where my fucking happy place likes to hang out, making me go in search of nipplage, where I bit down a little to release the anxiety.

She hissed at me but the orgasmic fucking look on her face said she didn't mind so much and besides, the deep seeded V in between her eyes told me it was helping with her own climax.

"Cum."

"Fuck."

"No, just fucking cum."

"Shit," she breathed harder and harder, rolling more urgently against me, digging her goddamn nails into my shoulder blades but fuck, it was the least I could let her do considering I'd just left fucking bite marks on her tits.

What?

It was a fuckin' accident.

Her tiny Swan moans here and there made me feel like a mad man as I came hard and pressed my head against her chest bone, waiting for her to get off and when she finally did, she kissed me hard, making my lip bleed but neither one of us really gave a shit.

She just sucked it 'till it stopped and I rubbed my thumbs along her hip, feeling the curvature of her there.

"I think I need to keep this fuckin' bike for a while," I breathed out and Swan replied with a, "No shit."

God I loved her ass.

Once we regained our decency and Swan made an inconspicuous glance out toward the street to make sure our neighbors weren't getting' their freaks on by watching us fuck on a Honda, we got dressed and went inside.

I passed the kitchen counter, letting my hands pick up the single key and it's remote that still sat there, heading out toward the back door.

Swan didn't follow at first, not till I'd already dug a hole and placed the key in the ground, saying a few silent things to her as I did.

"What are you doing?" she asked, amused.

I finished patting the dirt over top of the keys and told her, "I'm burying what's left of the batmobile, that's what I'm fucking doing."

"Yeah, and what's that?"

"The emotional control unit."

Then she put her hand over her mouth as she laughed because she just couldn't hold it in any longer and I couldn't hardly blame her but to me, it was just my way of saying goodbye and making a promise to James that he'd be paying for that shit.

Fucking asshole.

Once I was done letting the sad get buried with the keys, I got up, looking around half annoyed, half worried about where Pup might be and then thought about Eddy Jr.'s play date that he'd just gotten.

I figured things weren't all that bad after all.

Not entirely, anyway.

Until I made it back inside and noticed a sticky note on the fridge that I hadn't exactly noticed when I retrieved our beers earlier.

"What's this?"

"What's what?"

Not. Fucking. Good.

"This." I held it up for her to see the note that wasn't written by either one of us.

"You notice someone here earlier? At all, even a neighbor?"

Because maybe he had someone leave it for him.

Swan's face fell and she told me, "No, no one, I've been alone all day with…Pup."

I half ran to the office where our computer system was and checked the security tapes from the system I'd fixed with Jasper but there was nothin' on them.

Like, nothing at all.

One minute the fridge was bare, the next, there's a note.

Someone hadn't only invaded my fucking home while the woman I loved with all my blacked goddamn heart was alone…but they'd fucked with our system somehow.

So to me, it appeared James had wanted me to see him that first time.

Wanted me to know it was him.

Because this time, he was like a goddamn ghost.

And was now threatening me to stay off of the case openly, not just being subtle and shit by blowing up my car or anything.

Dick.

Only, in my humble motherfucking opinion, when you start getting your car bombed and notes with death threats….all the more reason to stay on the goddamn case and bust some bad guys.

Right?