Chapter 1 - "The Good, The Bad & The Motherfucking Liars"

Cullen POV

Ever have one of those fucking de ja vu kinda moments?

You know, like when you feel like you've gotten yourself into the same seriously fucked up situation exactly like the one you're currently about to get yourself into and that you made some of the most triumphant goddamn mistakes of all time, just like you were about to make?

Yeah.

That would be me.

The day Swan and I drove out to the tiny as fuck airport near Baltimore, Maryland to visit our latest and yet not so greatest client, Eleazer Mendez, finally.

Why?

Good goddamn question.

Supposedly and apparently, his daughter went missing, he needed someone to find her and since the Washington goddamn Metro PD wasn't about to do it efficiently...no offense to my brother...he called us…because, well, we're the fucking best and before I could say I don't think this is very good goddamn idea, there we were, taking the case, without really thinking that shit through.

I know. Stupid, right?

Especially considering the bullshit fuckery I'd gotten myself into the last time I was anywhere near anything tied to the gun for hire fuck twat that seemed to be tied to this case.

Don't get me wrong, it wasn't like I could turn down a fucked up situation on a good day, but this…this was what I liked to refer to as fucking FUBAR.

That's, fucked up beyond all recognition, my friends.

And not in a, I'm just fucking saying that because I'm overreacting kinda way, either.

I don't overreact.

Ever.

Okay, maybe once or twice when Swan was fucking around with Mike, I'm in a coffin six feet under now because I'm a goddamn idiot, Newton, but that shit didn't count.

Not in my mind, anyway.

This guy, Mendez, he'd been avoiding us all week but had finally decided to cooperate and…arrange to meet with us after I may or may not have semi-threatened to get his ass written up on several violations concerning the smoking of cigarettes and who the hell knew what else around dangerous machinery within some serious major containments of airplane fuel.

What?

I was nice about it…and besides, I'm a convincing motherfucker when I wanna be.

As we scurried along to get there, I couldn't quite put my finger on exactly why my spider senses were kicking into fucking overdrive but it didn't matter anyway, this guy could've been the goddamn son of a preacher man for all I cared, the facts just weren't sitting right deep down in the bottom of my gut, if ya get what I'm sayin'.

And my gut has never steered me wrong, except that one time when I ordered kung pao from the place down the street instead my regular guy.

But I digress.

Anyway, I wasn't about to start doubting it at that point, my gut that is, regardless of the kung pao incident.

That's why, when Swan started in with her directions fuckery, it was no wonder I paid her no goddamn mind. I simply had other shit to think about.

Looking back, that could have been my first mistake in a long ass line of many goddamn fuck ups.

Hindsight.

It's a funny motherfucker.

And I don't mean, funny, ha ha either, my friends.

"I think if we take the Parkway, we'll shave off a few minutes and maybe get back home in time to see Supernatural," she informed me all...giddy and shit.

Seriously?

We're on our way to interrogate a client and her mind is on Jensen goddamn Ackles?

I rolled my eyes a little at her.

I mean, shit, okay, he was a little funny, and yeah, he liked his meat just as much as the next guy but fuck, I still didn't know what in the hell she saw in his ass.

Swan was studying her yahoo maps app on her new iPhone…less the tracking device shit that the BFF had installed on the last phone she'd had…watching the annoying as hell blue dot fuckery as we sped down the road.

If I had a goddamn dollar for every time she tried to hi jack my fucking routes and tell me how to get somewhere quicker, faster, more efficiently…shit, I certainly wouldn't be driving myself around town anymore, that's for fucking sure.

"Okay…the exit should be right up here…"

My thumb hit the button on the steering wheel of the Vanquish and the music got a tad louder so I could think straight.

I had a lotta bullshit to sort through before we paid our visit to the friendly neighborhood airline guru.

"It's coming up."

I ignored her, tapping fingers against the dash to the beat that was playing.

"Take this one."

My hand tightened around the steering wheel, infini-fucking-tesimally.

"Cullen, it's right…" she pointed and then huffed, disgusted through her nose at me.

I cocked an eyebrow as I pushed the gas pedal further to the floor and passed the exit Swan advised me to take.

I knew a faster way.

It's called my goddamn way and stop telling me what the fuck to do.

"Cullen…"

I eyeballed her sideways.

"You're just gonna get us stuck, Edward."

Was she fucking kidding me?

"I'm so driving next time."

I laughed at that, 'cause seriously….that shit was funny.

"I find that highly fucking unlikely, Swan," I told her and that's when I got the look.

She loved it and hated it when I called her Swan, lately.

Hated it because she said it made me seem like I was distancing myself somehow or some crazy ass psychobabble shit like that, which I told her was the most ridiculous goddamn thing I'd ever heard.

Like that was gonna happen.

For any extended amount of time anyway.

However, she also happened to love the shit out of it because she said it made her feel things no one else had ever made her feel before.

To which I said she at least had gotten that part of it motherfucking straight.

I kept my eyes on the road as she fucked with her gun and shook her head a little over my not taking the goddamn Parkway.

I mean, for Christ's sake, it wasn't like I'd just pointed a gun at her and almost pulled the trigger or anything.

A little fucking perspective would be nice, ya know what I mean?

"How long have you lived here again?" I teased her.

She rolled her eyes and shoved the clip back into its home on her Heckler and I had to adjust Eddy Jr. so as to avoid a fucking close encounter of the hard on kind.

"Long enough to know the Parkway is way faster than two-seventy, and stop with the sexy smoldering eye thing…sex is not happening tonight."

Busted.

"You're kidding me, right? Two-seventy is like…a GOD send compared to the fucking Parkway, Swan…and why aren't we having sex tonight?"

Like I wasn't gonna notice she'd snuck that fuckery in there.

"Because you're being an ass…" her head followed a sign for another exit I passed up. "Do you even know where you're going?" she asked, looking at the iPhone again.

I snorted.

Like I needed a fucking map.

I couldn't figure out what in the hell was with her.

"If I'm being an ass, it's only because I'm trying to teach you the ways of the wise, young pad won…" I teased. "And yes, I know where I'm fucking going."

She eyeballed me.

Which made Eddy Jr. twitch again.

"Ya know," I curled my eyebrows up at her sexy gun fiddling cock teasing self. "I did live here my entire life and got around quite well before you inserted yourself into it."

"I inserted myself…I see…" She rolled her eyes as she snapped her clip into the gun she was holding and predictably, proceeded to fuck with my knobs.

The ones on the fucking radio.

Perv.

She was downright goddamn jittery.

And fucking seriously hormonal or somethin'.

And might I fucking add, this is why I don't do goddamn partners.

Not that I was about to even enter-fucking-tain the idea of severing our...partnership. I mean hell, I think it had been made fairly clear that wasn't a possibility at this point.

Right?

Anyway, who knew what kind of trouble she'd get herself into on her own.

"What's with you?" I finally asked her.

"I just don't feel like interrogating some guy who's probably gonna lie through his teeth to us anyway…I'd rather be…"

In my bed? Fucking say in my bed and I'll turn this goddamn piece of shit around right now.

"Visiting the baby…or, something."

I scowled at her, letting the familiar crease in my forehead form. She was freaking me the hell out, to be honest. So, I did what I normally did when she was talking fucking non-sense and I didn't have the ability to kiss the fuck out of her.

Or fuck the shit out of her.

Either, or.

I pulled the small pack of chewy goodness out of my jacket pocket and took one of the slivers it offered for myself with my teeth, then slid another out of the sleeve with my thumb and held it out to her.

"Gum?"

Her eyebrows pulled together and she didn't bother answering my ass, which made me laugh because seriously, I felt like I was in a goddamn double mint commercial or some shit like that.

I scowled after the chuckle, though, because it was just pissing her off even more…and then I put the gum back into my pocket.

Best thing to do at that point was to just let her seethe, anyway, trust me…if I started poking and prodding her ass even further, she'd just fucking deck me and then we'd be in a car accident faster than I could wonder what the fuck it was I did in the first place.

Therefore, it was quiet the rest of the ride.

Not that I'm fucking complaining or anything, I happen to like the quiet.

It wasn't one of those, I'm really fucking pissed off at you and I'm not talking to you right now, kinda quiets…It was more like we were both thinking about what kind of shit storms this case was about to reap upon our asses and how in the hell could we go about finding James before anything happened to the airline princess.

I wasn't exactly what you would call ecstatic, either, about the beginnings of this latest and greatest, most fucked up beyond all recognition case, if ya get what I'm sayin'.

The fact that James had any godddam thing to do with this bullshit just did not give me the warm fuzzies.

And we all know how I feel about those.

The guy was lethal as hell and I was fairly fucking certain, at least partially insane, so it wouldn't have surprised me if he were to just kill the girl had he gotten at all spooked about us tailing him.

What in the hell did he want with the daughter of an airline guru anyway?

And where the hell had he been for the past ten months?

And why the fuck come out of hiding to kidnap a goddamn child? It just didn't seem like his M.O., if ya know what I mean.

Shit. Just his fucking name made my teeth hurt from grinding them so goddamn hard.

I remembered, clear as fucking day, the last time I'd see the guy, face to face.

"Bella's quite frisky, Cullen. I found her a little too…chatty for me."

All too well I could suddenly feel the same fucking sickness in the pit of my stomach as we faced off.

"…see I like a woman's mouth to do, other things…although, had we had more time together…ya never know."

I swallowed down the bile in my mouth from the memory of James that I'd played over and over ever since I'd woken up in the hospital after getting shot.

There wasn't a day that went by that I didn't think about whether he'd come back and try some shit but I'd become a little less worried lately with him being out of sight for so long, I figured he'd moved on.

Kinda like I was trying to do.

And yes, I realize that at the fucking moment, it doesn't exactly seem that way.

Sneaking a peek over at Swan from the corner of my eye, I realized, she seemed thoughtful too, staring out of her passenger's side window.

I wondered if she was thinking about the ass hat as well.

"Too chicken to fight?" I'd asked him, "That's a little too easy, don't ya think?"

I gripped the steering wheel and could see the whites in my knuckles as the blood was cut off, remembering that night. The last time I'd had him close enough to hurt him…the last time he'd tried to take someone from me.

"Don't move!" Seth had shouted, holding that fake as hell gun up and pointing it at James.

If I'd only taken the oppor-fucking-tunity of his distraction to jump his ass, or…shoot him, or…something, other than focusing my goddamn distraction on Seth, the airline princess that Swan and I were hired to find wouldn't be missing right now.

Maybe.

After that was when he'd shot Seth in the chest. Without even fucking blinking, or giving a shit that it was a goddamn kid that he'd shot and that he might have very well fucking killed him.

It made me sick to my fucking stomach.

And this, ladies and gentlemen, is why relationships and Edward Cullen, just don't mix.

By the goddamn way.

And I'm not even specifically talking about relationships with tiny, smart mouthed, would fuck my ass up in a heartbeat if I said the wrong thing women that were riding in my goddamn car at the moment.

I mean anyone. It's just not feasibly safe.

People will always get hurt when they hang out with me.

Jess, Emmett, Seth…

I looked over at Swan.

Bella.

It's like a fucking curse or something.

My jaw tightened and I thought I felt a crack as I grinded my teeth involuntarily and that's about when I felt a soft hand grip my shoulder.

"We'll find him, Edward," Swan advised me. She was talking about James, of course. By now she knew every goddamn look on my face like the back of her very small, yet powerful fucking hand…I smiled half heartedly at her ass, trying to assure her I was on board with that.

"Next time, Cullen," was the last thing that fuck nut had said to me.

Find him indeed…and then I'm gonna rip his fucking heart out.

Maybe sauté it for him and then make him eat it like Hannibal Lector might do.

Not that I was a psychopathic goddamn cannibal or anything.

I tried to force a more reassuring smile as we arrived at the airport but it just kinda fizzled out and she grimaced, knowing I wasn't about to let that shit die.

We got out of the car and started walking toward the tiny building that probably housed all of the offices and I wanted to puke from the smell of the jet engines.

When we were almost at the entrance and I had almost lost my cookies, we were met by a small little fucker who looked a little too much like the guy from Fantasy Island if ya ask me and I half expected him to point and say, "Dee plane! Dee plane!" but he didn't.

I chuckled but hid that shit before anyone noticed and then gave him my best, Clint Eastwood, Dirty Harry, I'm a serious up motherfucker who's here to do a goddamn job look without making him feel like I'd shoot his ass in a heartbeat if he fucking tried anything.

What?

I would.

"Ju are hare to see meestaire Mendez? No?"

"I have no fucking idea what you just said, but we do need to see the guy who runs this place, pronto, my friend."

"Jaze…dat would be meestaire Mendez…come theeese way."

This guy, Mendez, was the owner of Titus Airlines and the gooey marshmallow middle of our investigation for the moment. I was hoping he'd have the information Swan and I would need in order to find his daughter quick and without any bloodshed.

That would be nice for a change.

I scowled at Swan who just shrugged and followed the guy and then I, in turn, followed her, into the building wondering who this guy was and how he'd managed to get on someone like our friendly neighborhood hired gunman's hit list.

"Hey…" I started to say to Swan as the little guy spun around on us.

"Eee vill see ju, meestaire Cullen," he said, then his beady little eyes shifted to Swan. "But zee ladeee must stay here."

Did he just fucking say what I thought he said?

"I don't fucking think so, my friend, we're a team, we go in together," I informed his tiny ass, because fuck that shit.

Swan was the one who countered, though.

"It's okay, Cullen," she told me, taking a seat. "I'll keep an eye out around here, probably best anyway."

I felt like she was telling me something…you know, without really fucking telling me something, so I followed the little guy down the hallways to Mendez's office and he disappeared.

Part of me wondered if Swan would be okay.

The other part of me knew she'd nut punch me for even thinking that shit, but hell, it wasn't like I could fucking help my paranoia.

Right?

"Ah! Meestaire Cullen…tell me, 'ow eees the case comink along, yes?"

Seriously. What the fuck did he just say?

My eyebrows met and I asked the guy, "Mr. Mendez, you wanna explain to me why my partner isn't permitted to question you with me?"

He raised an eyebrow and waved me off. "Misstaire Cullen, hwould you mine telling me if ju have any information on dee case as of yet?"

Did he just…?

He just fucking blew me off.

That shit's fucked up.

The instinct to give this guy the finger and walk the hell outta there, collect Swan and let him worry about his missing daughter was muted by the fact that I was now highly curious as to why he'd think that shit was okay to pull with me.

"Okay, Mendez, I'll play along," I told him, then added, so he'd know I wasn't in the goddamn mood for his blowing smoke up my ass bullshit, "For now."

He smiled and I found myself mentally forcing the urge to kick his ass down by changing the subject.

Sort of.

"Why don't you tell me why the police aren't helping you with this case, I mean, it IS a missing person's case, right? Wouldn't they…?"

He closed his eyes and shook his head. "The police…they, unfortunately, have not been very much 'elp thus far, ann I know ju solved a very big case for them lasss year meestair…"

"Just…Cullen…"

"Hwell, regairdless, I hire only, dee best, ann you…aire dee best, so…"

He was sucking up now.

Seriously.

Like, if my dick had been out, it would have been in his mouth.

And that shit's disturbing.

I decided to get data first, tell him off later so I asked the questions I needed to ask of the guy and he pretty much danced around most of them.

Including the one about who he thought could possibly want to harm him or his family.

He apparently had no goddamn idea why his daughter would be kidnapped and as fucked up as it sounded, I highly doubted it and planned on finding the fuck out just what this guy was hiding from me later on when I got home.

I did happen to believe one thing that he said though and that was that he loved his daughter.

The eyes just don't lie, ladies and gentlemen.

And this guy's eyes were a watery pool of missing his little girl.

So, by the end of the conversation, I figured it was pretty simple.

Get Swan, go home, have Jazz man do some leg work and then pay this sneaky son of a bitch another visit once I had some more info.

And next time, I wouldn't be asking permission to see his ass, either.

I felt pretty good actually.

Until we got back out to the reception area of Mendez's office building, that is.

I stopped short, my mouth falling open slightly for a second or two, then finally grasped what exactly the fuck was happening right in front of me.

And who was instilling the fuckery.

"Swan, Jesus...settle down," I told her as she threatened to cut the dick hole's air supply off all together that she was strangling.

"He. Was. Grabbing. For. Me," she said with venom through gritted teeth as she tightened her choke hold on the guy.

I wasn't really sure what the fuck was going on, I mean shit, I'd just walked out of the airline guru's office with him after our little…meeting and had found her on top of this poor numnut, her knee in his back and an arm around his neck.

He was choking and sputtering, trying to say something but couldn't and I was fighting the urge to laugh and or possibly throw Swan up against a wall watching her man handle the fuck twat like that.

"Was…trying…" He coughed again. "To help…you."

"Bullshit!" she spat at him.

"Swan…why don't we all just…calm down, for Christ's sake. The guy's not gonna do anything with his boss standing right here…not to mention I'll shoot his ass if he tries anything."

I pulled the Colt outta my holster and pointed it at him, smiling as I cocked it. "Right, fuck twat?"

He managed a small, uncomfortable looking nod.

Good job, fuck twat.

I looked back to Swan and raised my eyebrows at her. "See? Now how about you just…let the nice asshat go."

To say life had taken some strange goddamn turns of late, would be the fucking understatement of the year.

I mean, come on…I'm talking the Swan down from killing some idiot?

Seriously?

She breathed out heavily and let him go, slowly releasing her arm from his neck as he gagged, then she gave him one more knee grind into the small of his back as she stood the rest of the way up.

My mouth twitched.

As did my dick.

Fuck if I didn't love the shit outta that woman.

She pulled her gun out as well and pointed it at the guy and he stood up, holding one hand up in the air as he did, the other was rubbing his throat.

Swan's gun was…hot.

Very fucking hot.

She was…

I shook my head a little.

Okay, right…fuck twat, grabbing Swan…focus.

Mendez stood there, mesmerized and confused as to just exactly what the hell was going on around him.

"Meeesster Cullen, hwould you mine telling me what theee hell is going on here?" he asked, aggravated, with his Hispanic accent.

"I'll tell you what's going on here, Mr. Mendez," Swan piped in, blowing the bangs out of her face, pissed off to the fucking max before I could get a word out.

"Your little…shithead worker bee baggage boy here made a move to grab me without realizing he was grabbing for a tenth level kickboxing expert," she yelled that part directly at said shithead. "…and got his little body broken in the process!"

Whew boy, she was pissed alright. I hadn't seen her like this since that day I used her pink Schick Quattro razor on my beard because I was out of razors and she cut her legs up nice and thoroughly afterward.

Cut me a fucking break, it wasn't my fault she forgot to refill my stash after using them to get the paint off of the goddamn windows in the den because she's such a fucking perfectionist.

"Bitch," the idiot breathed out as the air filled his lungs again.

Baaaaaad, bad move, shithead…bad move.

"What did you call me?" she asked him as she narrowed her eyes at him and made a move in his direction again.

I stepped in between them. "Hey, hey, hey now…I'm the one with anger issues, remember?" I said to her, winking at her sexy as fuck self in the process.

"Cullen, he…" she waved a hand in the air to motion toward the dummy.

I cut her off. "I hear ya, Swan…but we do have a job to accomplish here," I reminded her, smiling nicely, hoping she'd come back to her senses somehow.

She huffed out and backed off and I took a step back, turning to Eleazar.

"She ess...out of her mine," he said flippantly.

Was he right? Possibly, but fuck if she wasn't MY crazy person. And nobody says shit like that about the Swan but me. So I got about ten shades of really fucking serious with his ass.

"Mr. Mendez, if my partner says your guy grabbed for her, he grabbed for her, now why don't YOU…tell ME, what the fuck is going on."

We waited.

And waited.

But since it's me who's the king of fucking silence, Mendez broke first, and said, "Hee ess Alec, hwon off my mose trusted employhees and also, my bodeee gaird, clearly, he saw thees…." He looked over at Swan and his lips curled down. "Hwoman, ass a threat to my hwell being."

I gotta say, this guy was not winning any of those cute little gold stars from Swan with this shit he was spewing.

Her face morphed at his insinuation of a woman being a lesser being and I was trying to hold my shit together because honestly, trying to understand what the fuck this guy was saying half the time took a goddamn toll on my sanity all by itself.

Trying to understand what the fuck he was saying along with trying to stop Swan from killing his…boddeee gaird…was killin' me.

"I was trying to carry your bag for you," the worker bee announced sarcastically, but Swan wasn't having that excuse.

"Well, here's the four-one-one for you, ass hole...I don't need anyone to carry my fucking BAG for me." She made another move to get around me and over toward him.

"Okay…look…" I said. I was stalling because hell if I knew how to handle this fuckery, usually I was the hot head and Swan smoothed shit out…this was new for me.

Separation…that was a good starting point…separate the kiddies and then get the story.

"Mr. Mendez, why don't you and your…body guard…here..." I nodded to the fuck twat. "...get back to running your airline while my partner and I go start trying to figure out what in the hell is going on with your daughter," I said to him as calmly as possible.

I mean, damn, one fucking lunatic was enough for the time being.

Right?

Hey, I can be the good cop…I mean, private eye…

It wasn't really a suggestion as much as a…you need to step the fuck off before Swan shoots your ass and I have to hide the goddamn body, causing my pain in the ass brother to send a man hunt after me once again type of statement.

He took the hint and motioned for his goon to follow him back into the building and I turned to Swan who was re-holstering her piece into its home next to her hip.

Fucking…hot.

"You wanna ex-fucking-goddamn-splain to me, what…the HELL that shit was all about, Swan?"

I crossed my arms and waited while she eyeballed my ass.

"He…" she started and then pursed her lips…something about the look on her face was giving me a bad feeling. "There was just something about him, I didn't like it, he was making me uncomfortable, and he knew I was figuring him out...so he made a sudden move toward me and I reacted…that's all."

I let the crease in my forehead form, there was really no fighting against that shit anyway, I'd learned a long goddamn time ago, that when the crease formed, I need to just go with it.

"He made you uncomfortable? How?"

"Yeah, he..." she thought about it for a minute. "I didn't like the way he was looking at me."

She wasn't exactly avoiding eye contact, but she wasn't looking me directly in the eyes either…that wasn't like her.

If I knew anything about this woman, it was that she didn't typically overreact to shit, but she also wasn't usually the one to jump the gun and put a hurtin' on someone just for looking at her funny.

That was my job.

Plus, I pay attention to shit, and I didn't notice any…funny looks.

But then, I wasn't there the whole time with her, either.

Fucking thoughts that my brain couldn't goddamn handle were sneaking all up into my head and I decided I needed to confront her about what the real problem might have been.

So I put a hand on her shoulder and ducked my head down to catch her gaze and asked her, "Are you...?" I squinted my eyes a little.

"Am I...what?" she asked, putting her hands on her hips.

Focus.

"You know..." I started, and then whispered, "...on your fucking period or something?"

I figured I'd hit the proverbial nail right on its fucked up head when her expression relaxed, her shoulders slumped a little and she smiled with just the faintest fucking smirk in her lips.

Then she knuckle punched me.

Yeah.

This whole, working together on cases shit was gonna be a whole lotta goddamn fun, in my humble motherfucking opinion that is.

Swan stalked off and jumped into the car before I could even ask her what the fuck and I got in, started the engine, then thought about shit for a minute, realizing I'd left something unsaid over at the OK corral.

"I'll be right back," I told her, hopping out before she could ask me where I was going or what I thought I was doing.

I left the car running, went back into the building, where Mendez and his…bodee guaird were talking about some shit.

Probably getting their stories straight with each other.

I tried not to worry about that bullshit too much as I approached them. I could always catch the guy in a lie some other time.

"Hey," I said, giving a slight nod as I stalked up to the dick twat who'd called Swan a bitch and clocked him.

Right in his blonde headed, doesn't know when to stop fucking talking, smug ass, ugly goddamn jaw.

"Don't ever fucking say that shit to my partner again," I told him as I left and in walking back to the Vanquish, I laughed to myself, picturing Swan on top of that asshat and wondered what exactly had gone down.

"What was that all about?" she asked me, still pissy about the period comment.

"Forgot my cell phone," was all I gave her and I knew that she knew I was fucking lying out of my ass but I wasn't giving her the goddamn satisfaction of knowing that.

It was only an obsessive kinda deep seeded reflex that was buried inside of me that made me kick that guy's ass for saying that shit to her.

She'd deck me for it when she found out, but I really didn't give a goddamn.

Nobody fucking talks to the Swan like that.

Ever.

I focused my mind back onto the case and decided where we needed to go first to start digging up what the real story was with this guy because clearly, he wasn't givin' it to us out right.

Sons of bitches.

What people always seem to fucking fail to remember is, that shit will always come back to bite them in their proverbial asses, no matter how hard they try to hide it.

All the in between fuckery that would go down was just a waste of my goddamn time and their motherfuckin' money.

But hey, who am I to tell them how to ruin their lives?