Chapter 12 ~ Same Shit, Alternate Universe

Cullen POV

“I didn’t mean that shit at the park, bro, you know that, right?”

My jaw tightened as I stared at the hospital bed, just below where the sheets fell along the side of it, where the wheels connected to the legs and the steel wouldn’t judge me.

The guilt was eating at me.

I was tired.

Worried.

And very…motherfucking. Pissed. off.

“Yeah, I know.”

“I mean, I know you…you wouldn’t have called that Seth thing in if…”

“Em…I know, Okay?  Drop it.”  I closed my eyes and rubbed at my temple a little more, begging the pain to go away.

“Yeah, I just…”

He didn’t finish.  Emmett was about as big on words as I was.  He was just…better at them when he did use them.

Sometimes.

Well, more than I was.

After a few minutes of the most awkward silence, ever, he asked, “You talk to Bells?” and I still couldn’t quite get the fuck over his nick name for my woman but I ignored it and answered him, anyway.

“She’s taking care of…something.  She’ll get here when she can.”

He gave me a cocked eyebrow, knowing I was holdin’ somethin’ back.

Also ignored.

What?

I never said I answered him to the fullest extent of what some might call, honesty.

She really did have to take care of something.

Something about the size of a quarter, that had a whole hell of a lot of incriminating information on it and if things went our way, for fucking once, something that might actually point us in the right direction on this case.

And the less he knew, the better…you know, as far as his career went.

“Alice?”

“Yeah, she um…” the conversation I’d had with Jasper, not too long before, rolled through my mind again and I could almost hear my favorite sister screaming at me from the background of the conversation, again.

I let out a heavy sigh.

“Jasper’s bringin’ her by for the late shift.”

Emmett nodded.  He got it.

“Rose was pretty stubborn.”

Funny, how the women wanted so desperately to be somewhere I’d do anything to get as far the fuck away from.

I couldn’t look at him.

Couldn’t look at ma, who was with the doctor at that point in time, out in the hallway, and most certainly couldn’t bring my self to look at my dad, when they’d wheeled him back into the room.

Luckily, the dickless wonder who’d shot him, hadn’t hit any major organs, which had led me to believe that he hadn’t meant to kill Carlisle because if he had, he was a shit shot for a professional hit man, working for Aro.

Not likely.

Nah, the whole thing was just another message as far as they were concerned.

Back off.

I looked at my brother, finally.  Then ma, as she came back into the room to check on dad. 

They were sending a message, alright.

In the form of a request for slow and painful revenge type actions to be taken upon the lot of them in the form of my fucking Colt against their goddamn heads.

I was okay with that.

Aside from the fact that, you know, dad was in a hospital bed.

“Wipe that look off of your face, Edward,” ma instructed me, once she tucked dad up all nice and cozy and for some odd as fuck reason, I wondered if Swan had done that shit when I was in the hospital after getting shot, the Spring before.

She finished up what she was doing and then turned to me, took my face in her hands and kissed the top of my forehead like I was ten years old again.

And suddenly, I was.

“Ma…” I whined, pulling away from her while simultaneously hearing the chuckle coming from Emmett’s corner of the room.

“I mean it, Edward, I don’t want any of this, feeling responsible non-sense.  You’re father…”

“Wouldn’t be laid up and unconscious, if it weren’t for me.”

She eyeballed me.  “Don’t be an idiot.”

More chuckling from Emmett and I chucked my coke cup at his ass.

What?

It was empty.

An orderly brought a tray of food in for dad, even though he was fucking asleep and shit and ma just took it, graciously, set it aside and kept on lecturing me.

Peeking over at it, I shivered.

Turkey meatloaf.

Serioulsy.

Anything, other than thanksgiving turkey, all by itself, that has the word turkey in it, can NOT be good.

I smacked my lips a little to get the imaginary shit taste out of my mouth and then blocked that fuckery from my mind, completely.

Ma rolled her eyes and then said, “Do you really think you have any control over what these people do, Edward?”

I wish.

I started to say something but she kept on going.

“And even if you did think you could, do you really think your father would give up coming to his job every day in order to avoid the confrontation?”

Seriously?  She considered this a…confrontation?

My mouth opened again, but again, I wasn’t allowed to speak.

Yet.

“He couldn’t give up what he does any more than you or your brother could ever give up what the two of you do, every day.”

That was when she stopped to give me a second or two to let the words sink in.

I got it.

I mean, I knew what she was trying to say.

I just didn’t agree with the degree of just how, not my fault, shit was.

“Lucky for us!” a familiar…very fucking annoyingly enthusiastic voice, sounded from the doorway and I could almost hear Emmett murmur something along the lines of, “fuck me.”

The look on his face wasn’t his a-typical, man, my boss is here, now I have to straighten up and be a good boy…but more like, this is the last person on Earth I wanna see right now, and I couldn’t help but wonder what had transpired between the two of them between yesterday at the park and…well, just now.

It wasn’t like Emmett was the type to tell Muldoon to fuck off or kiss his ass, so…I did it for him.

Sort of.

“Muldoon, you look like shit.”

Well, he did.

“That’s because, I’m tired, Cullen,” he announced, loudly, in his Sergeant Gunny voice and I made ready to beat the shit out him, Lieutenant or no Lieutenant, if he woke Carlisle up. “ You know why I’m tired?”

It wasn’t really a question he wanted me to answer, was it?

I mean, I’d just end up telling him to eat shit.  But then, that wouldn’t be very helpful, would it?

Maybe he’d like the turkey meatloaf.

 “I’ll tell you why…”

See? Purely rhetorical.

“I’ve just spent the last twenty-four hours interrogating a dead woman’s husband, on wild goose chases, and following dead leads on an attempted shooting.”

Attempted.

Ha!

“Sucks to be you.”

“I could use some goddamn coffee,” he said, rubbing his eyes and I realized, he really was tired.

And oh yeah, pay backs are a motherfucker.

“Sure thing, Muldoon,” I said to him all…chipper and shit and I could just about see the “oh no” look on Emmett’s face out of the corner of my eye. “What’d ya take? Cream? Sugar?  Couple cubes of kiss my ass, maybe?”

The guy’s eyes shot hate right through me but hell, I’d been waiting a long goddamn time to use that line.

Emmett was trying to shrink into the wall next to him and I scowled at the good Lieutenant, certain he’d been a dick over something completely asinine but he held it in, so I pushed a little more.

What can I say, old habits die hard.

“How about a couple of slices of fuck your mother?”

“Edward!” ma cried out but honestly, once my mouth starts spewing like that, it’s kinda hard to stop but yeah, I know, not the most gentlemanly thing to say in front of your own mother.

Fucking sue me.

More angry eyes from Muldoon and more shrinking into the wall from Emmett.

And more internal laughter from me at the expense of our dear fuckhead of a police mogul.

Yippee ki-yay, motherfucker.

“No?”

I shrugged like I was genuinely distraught over his dilemma and he started to say something but I was on a roll, so I cut his ass off.

“Why exactly are you here, Muldoon, get lost lookin’ for the morgue?”

Emmett was avoiding eye contact all together.

From both Muldoon and me.

“I’m here to investigate a possible attempted homicide, Cullen, this is official business.”

Wow, miracles really do exist.

Still though, he was a little too…giddy to be there about investigating whatever the fuck he thought he was investigating.

And Emmett wasn’t of any help.

“Yeah, well…” I couldn’t quite take my eyes off of my brother as he walked over to the window and look down at the parking lot.

“He’s gonna be out for a while, so, you should probably run along until he’s conscious, then maybe you can ask him some questions.”

Over my mangled body, that is.

There was no way I was lettin’ this guy fuck with anyone else in my family.

Muldoon didn’t budge, though.

“Maybe you didn’t hear me,” I started, ready to fucking put his ass out into the hallway, if I had to because hell if I was gonna hang out with his ass any longer.

“Sure thing, Cullen,” Muldoon finally answered and then he smiled as he told me, “I just need to ask you a few questions, first….”

And then he waited for it.

Because, let’s be honest here, folks, it was comin’.

The oh so fucking familiar crease in between my eyes deepened.

“Are you fucking kidding me with this shit?”

 He was fucking kidding me with that shit.

 Right?

 “Em, tell me he’s fucking kiddin’ me, here.”

 My brother turned to me and was about to…attempt anyway…to explain something when Muldoon piped in, again.

 “Why would I be joking, Cullen? No one saw a gunman.”

 “Fuck you, Muldoon…I saw the goddamn gunman,” I told him, pointing at myself and my mom was now making ready to get all up in his face, too but he laughed the two of us off.

 “For all we know, Cullen, you were the gunman.”

 And that prompted ma… “Lieutenant, this is not…”

I held a hand up to my mother who looked pretty much like I felt most days.  “Why…the fuck would I shoot my own goddamn father?” I asked him, still wondering blindly why Emmett was oddly quiet.

 Not that that should have surprised me.

 “It’s no secret you two have had a…rocky relationship…for lack of a better word.”

 And no…he did NOT motherfucking just say that shit to me.

It crossed my mind, all of a sudden like, that there was a possibility that he’d planted that note and picture of Seth on Mrs. Mendez…that he was purposely fucking with my reputation in order to get me where he wanted me.

Which meant he could have been James’s wing man.

Fuck. A. Duck.

Hard.

No squirming on my end, though.  Screw that.

“How about I rock your fucking relationship right up the…”

 Emmett’s head was moving from side to side and his hand was moving to cover his face.

“Relax, Cullen,” Muldoon chuckled.  Like I was a kid he was bullying back in his Middle School days, or some shit like that. “We know you didn’t shoot your dad, and anyway….we need you for… other things.”

Mom relaxed but it didn’t escape me, the way he said it…and the way he said, by the goddamn way, made me wanna shoot his ass and I didn’t really give a shit about what that might have done to my reputation…or…life…whatever.

“A moment?” he suggested, motioning toward the hallway.  “Privately?”

I sighed heavy, ‘cause…here we fucking go again.

I eyed Emmett one more time, imaginatively giving his ass the finger and then nodded to ma, giving her a slight smile and told them I’d be right back.

“How’s your assignment coming along, Cullen?  Find James yet?” he asked me while he checked under his fingernails for dirt, once we were out in the privacy of the hallway and the tone in his voice…not cool.

“Ya know, Muldoon, my ass is startin’ to hurt from you shoving your hand up there, thinking I’m a puppet you can just ass rape whenever the hell you feel like it.” I waved a hand at him and he cracked.

A smile, that is.

But I wasn’t exactly in the mood for ass hat bonding, one oh one, so I refrained from returning even the fakest of grins.

“I’m not one your cronies, so don’t fool yourself into thinkin’ I’m here to do your goddamn bidding.”

And then I decided, with next look I received, that Muldoon’s new nick name was stone face.

The guy didn’t give shit away when he didn’t want to.

Time for dangling the carrot.

“Why not just have your own men take Aro down, anyway? I mean hell, you have to have more resources than little old, meaningless me.”

Right?

I mean not that it wasn’t my ultimate goal, anyway, but I just wasn’t on board with this whole, it’s Cullen’s sole response-fucking-bility to bring down a crime lord, wrap him up nice and neat and then hand him over to the most crooked cop filled police precinct in all of Washington DC.

“Because Cullen, in case you hadn’t noticed, there’s been a rash of crimes of late around the city and when it’s a tossup between my men going out and handling burglaries, vandalism and…And finding the lost daughter of a human trafficking ring leader….I’m going with the burglaries…”

Did I just hear him right?

‘Cause…

Bingo.

Ya know what I’m sayin’?

“What did you just say?”

“I said I’m going with the burglaries.”

“No, before that. You said, human trafficking ring leader.  How’d you know that?”

His face crinkled. “It’s on his record, Cullen, everyone with the proper clearance knows that…” he began explaining.

And why would he feel the need to explain himself to me?

I knew it wasn’t in the system of course, because surely, with Emmett’s new promotion and spiffy title, he’d had that clearance.

I think.

Regardless, I couldn’t tell Muldoon that I knew that information.

Maybe he knew that I knew…and he was just trying to play me to see if I’d rat my…brother…out.

Jesus.

Em was right.  My paranoia was reaching all new highs.

I breathed out and decided to play nice then, step away from the dangerous overload of information situation.  And yeah, okay, cover up my fucking faux pas.

“I’ve got some leads…I’ll keep ya posted,” I told him, as nicely as possible, hating the fact that I felt like I needed to play ball with this dick, then I headed back into the room, where he followed, but not for long.

Looking passed ma, I asked my brother, “Em, you think you could look something up for me later on?” and when I saw the scared, deer in the headlights look, I added, “Official police business and everything.” for Muldoon’s sake, since I knew he’d been keeping an eagle eye on the guys lately but Emmett’s reaction told me he wasn’t catchin’ on.

Yet, anyway.

“Bro, I uh…I dunno…I…”

“What?  What’s up?”

He was clearly beatin’ around the bush with me, no pun intended, and I didn’t have time for that shit but then, Muldoon did his piss ant impersonation and smugly told the room, as he backed out, “I’ll leave you two to discuss your situation, Cullen.”

And he wasn’t talking to me.

“What the fuck is he talking about, Em?” I asked just as Muldoon disappeared out of the room.

Nice.

The guy stays just long enough to cause a little chaos then goes back to report his dirty deeds to Aro.

Probably, anyway.

Hell, I don’t know what the fuck was going on, but then, who was I but a pawn in the chess game of fuckery that someone else had all the pieces to.

Ma gave me the look.

The one that said I was cursing way too much again, but shit was falling apart at the seams and I don’t honestly, really think she understood the full extent of fuckery that was surrounding me.

Or her.

The whole family, actually.

“I’m going to go speak with the doctor, boys…do not disturb your father,” she demanded and then she was gone, too.

I crossed my arms and stood there watching Emmett who for some reason, thought this conversation wasn’t gonna happen.

“I think I’m gonna go get a coffee,” he laughed.  “All that talk with Muldoon is makin’ me…”

“Em.”

“Mmm?” His eyebrows raised up and he looked at me like I hadn’t just caught on to the crazy ass interaction between him and his boss.

“Spill.”

He gave up.  He was easy like Sunday morning, like that.

He sat down and let out a long ass breath, then put his head in his hands as he leaned forward and I waited.

Then I checked my watch ‘cause…it was like watching fucking grass grow, waiting for him to spill.

“Em.”

He looked up finally and told me, “Muldoon caught me checking on some things with regards to your ‘off limits’ case yesterday.”

Okay….not life altering…or world ending…

“So, that’s not anything for you to be…”

“Then my gun went missing overnight.”

Oh.

“Shit.”

“Yeah.”

Now, my brother might be an idiot with regards to some things.

Women for instance.

And Football betting.

And sometimes a friendly game of Wii…

But his job, he takes seriously, despite the fact that he worked for the most unreliable, non-trustworthy Lieutenant in the entire DCPD.

Em was a stand up guy.

And most assuredly, did not lose track of his fucking hand gun.

I chewed on the inside of my lip for a minute, debating, then I told him, whether he wanted to hear it or not, “You know Muldoon set your ass up, right?”

And he pished me.

I shooked my head, ‘cause…like wife, like husband, I guess.

“Of course I know that, what am I, stupid?”

“So, what are we gonna do about it?”

“We’re not going to do anything about it, Eddy…”

“That’s bullshit!”

“Listen,” he said, turning on his big brother, I do know a few things that you don’t, attitude. “If we try to play his hand too early, we might never find out what role he’s playing in all of this, Edward…”

Did he just say…”We?”

And then he smiled.  “You don’t think I’m letting you handle this shit all by yourself, now, do you?”

Huh.

I didn’t have words for him about how those words had affected me, so I kept moving through my thoughts about Muldoon, instead.

“I just don’t get it…Why promote you, why the fuck wouldn’t he just keep you under his boot instead of putting you in a position of trust like that and then taking you outta the game?”

Fucking idiot.

“It’s not about trust, bro, it’s about following orders…something he warned me about…and I chose not to fall in line…it’s just…”

Like I said…

Bullshit.

“Listen, I’m gonna head home, get changed and get Rosey and the baby…call if ya need somethin’.”

“Yeah,” I said and then before I knew it, I was sitting there in my dad’s hospital room.

Alone with him.

It was awkward.  Even in his unconscious state, I couldn’t think of much to say to Carlisle but I at least owed the guy an apology for being a dumbass.

I nodded at him.

“I’m really…fucking sorry, Dad,” I started and could have sworn he smirked but I ignored that hallucination.

“I wasn’t expecting them to…”

Shit.

“I mean…how fucked up is it that my nemesis knows me better than I know myself?”

Hysterical laughter broke out at that.

On my part, that is.

I was alone, remember?

Other than the drugged up father type that was no doubt judging me inside of his head at the moment.

Jesus, even in his sleep he could make me feel like I’d made the wrong decisions.

I shook my head a little.

“Look, I realize I should have taken a step back…I mean shit, dad, I should’ve seen that whole, patient pulling a gun on you thing way before it happened…”

He silently mocked me for that statement.  Even he knew I’d never have said that shit if he were awake.

“Yeah, yeah…I know…”

I ran a hand through my hair and after a few more minutes of talking cryptic, working shit out in my head, aloud to my, just got shot in the gut father and I never noticed how perfect Swan’s timing was until she showed up.

“Oh, hey,” I said to her, playing my insane babbling off like the invisible six foot tall rabbit had just left the building.

Or was that Elvis?

“Are you….okay in here?” she asked and I realized she must have over heard part of my half cocked, two faced type convo with the father figure before actually interrupting me.

Perfect.

“Great,” I smiled and then avoided all eye contact whatsoever.

There was a lot of shit that needed to get ironed out.

And a lot of shit that needed to kiss my ass ‘cause hell if keeping the Muldoon fuckery from Swan was not an option.

Not if I wanted this case to get solved, anyway, so I started out just kinda, blankly looking at my dad as I spoke to her to kinda lessen the blow.

Which one of us I was thinking of when I did that, who the fuck knows.

Probably me, I was a selfish motherfucker like that.

“Ya know, growing up with dad wasn’t a piece of cake,” I said. “He wasn’t always the most understanding guy around and if you mentioned an interest that fell outside of his big scheme of life…”

I peeked over at Swan, who was listening intently, setting the brown bag she’d brought with her onto the table next to me.

“Well, you know how that goes.”  I smiled but she didn’t return the gesture.

She wasn’t buyin’ it and I couldn’t blame her.

I swallowed.

“I never wanted to bring a kid into this world and…”

I stopped for a minute, trying to gather some thoughts and then looked back down at him, laying there, looking all…helpless and shit.

“It’s just that, I’ve been noticing lately…I’m not all that different from him, ya know?”

“Edward…” she said, putting one of her perfectly shaped hands on my shoulder, squeezing just a little and I felt some of the pressure leave me, resolving myself to just…fess the fuck up.

“Muldoon’s got pictures,” I finally said.

“Pictures?”

I still wasn’t making eye contact.

Swan and I had never officially spoken about that day, when I’d set Newton up like I did.   I mean, I knew she knew and she knew that I knew…that…well, you know.

But we’d never actually said the words.

I always figured it was her way of lettin’ me deal with the guilt on my own terms but now…

I couldn’t exactly hide that shit, anymore.

Right?

“Of me…giving Newton the gun…last Spring.”

“Oh,” she said.

And then it was silent for a few minutes.

The only thing I heard was dad’s breathing.

“What does he want?” she finally asked and I almost grinned, sure as hell that I looked like an idiot but she just always seemed to know when to bug the hell out of me and when to back the fuck off about certain topics.

I shrugged.

“That’s the bizarro world thing,” I laughed, a tad bit sarcastically.  “He wants me to find James and take Aro down.”

“Ha! Well he’s got another…” she stopped in mid sentence, realizing I hadn’t said what she probably was anticipating I’d say.  “Wait, what?”

And I laughed a little because that had pretty much been my reaction to this bullshit, too.

“Fucking weird, I know.”

“Edward, this is a good thing.”

“Good? Swan how can anything remotely related to Muldoon be classified as good?” I challenged and she narrowed her eyes at me.

“Well…aren’t we going to do that, anyway?” she asked, confused.

“I guess, but don’t you think the fact that Muldoon wants us to, means that maybe we shouldn’t be?”

“I’m not following.”

Join the club.

“Somethin’s up with Muldoon.”

Nothin’.

Like she didn’t know that.

I looked over at her.

“Annnnnd?” she prodded and the look on her face…Priceless…Plus, the hand on the hip thing…gets me every goddamn time.

“He knew Mendez has some sorta connection to Aro, and the trafficking.”

A new look and I was glib.  I shouldn’t of been but hell, I am a dick, so…

“Yeah, join me in my parade of fuckery, Swan.”

I made a celebratory gesture and then said, maybe a little more snarky then I’d originally intended, “Woohoo!”

“Okay,” she said, deciding to just, ignore my loss of all mental stability, putting a thumb nail in between her teeth while walking around in a small circle near me for a minute.

I love it when she’s thinkin’.

Not to mention the fact that she’d worn the jeans that just happened to be my favorite fucking pair that she owned.

They showed just enough of her ass for me to have to have a stern talking to with Eddy Jr. so I could concentrate on more…pressing shit.

Not that my dick didn’t enjoy a little pressing on certain areas of Swan’s anatomy, but…shit.

Focus.

I needed down time.

My brain was on over drive for the past however many goddamn days we’d just spent chasing our asses and it was about to start smokin’ and possibly spontaneously fucking combust soon if I didn’t sort shit out and get a new outlook.

“You get anything on that disk?” I asked her because that was just the thing that could give us something fresh to deal with.

I could ignore Muldoon for a while.

I could even pretend I didn’t think he set Emmett up and took him outta the game on fucking purpose.

What I couldn’t do, was forget that there was a young woman out there who was alone and scared and…who knows what else.

“I think so,” she said and then pulled a piece of paper out of her pocket and showed it to me.

“Everything was numbered, no names but those are the ones that seemed to fit Kate’s description.”

Sweet.

There were descriptions, prices, locations…

Fucking shoot me.

Prices.

That sick feeling in the pit of my stomach came back from Seattle and I pushed it down.

Mostly because it’s really not very manly to puke in front of a lady.

Especially Swan.  I’d never live that shit down.

“Okay, we can start with Southern Maryland, I think if we…”

Swan’s cell buzzed and I stopped short on the talking because every goddamn time one of our fucking phones rang, recently, shit got bad and I wasn’t lookin’ forward to hearing what shit was about to get bad, this time.

From the look on Swan’s face as she checked her text message, I figured it was gonna be a doozy, however, she simply slipped the phone back into her jacket pocket, played that shit off and proceeded to pull Chinese food out of the paper bag she’d brought with her, one container at a time.

She was taking her first bite of the Kung Pao Chicken when my eyebrows curled up and I asked her, “Well?”

“Well what?” she said in response and I laughed through my nose at her ass.

“Well what? Well what the fuck was the text about?”

Ma interrupted us then, letting me know she was heading home to change and then she’d be back with Alice and I assured her we’d stay till they got back.

When she was gone again, Swan shook her head at me before I got another chance to grill her about the text.

“It wasn’t anything that can’t wait ‘till later, Edward…let’s eat, and then we’ll go over strategy for finding those girls on the list.”

I thought about it.

“You do trust me, right Cullen?” she teased and then there was more eating and I decided to let it slide.  For the time being.  Because we really did need to start getting’ the jump on these bastardsonsofbitches before something happened to that girl that would be irreversible.

It was bad enough Mendez had lost his wife to the dick twats.  I couldn’t let him lose his little girl, too.

So I pulled out some pork fried rice and we went over the list.

There were a few that fit the bill, alright.

Their whereabouts seemed to be pretty spread out though.

Probably another confusion tactic on James’s part to make it harder to find him.

We came to the conclusion, much to my dislike, against my better judgment, but to Swan’s insistence, that we’d split up and cover more ground.

I knew, in my head, that it made sense. That if this had been a male partner, that I wouldn’t have thought twice about that shit…so I forced myself to not be a dick about it and made Swan promise to keep in touch via texts and that she would absolute not do anything fucking stupid, like, try to take a professional hit man down by herself the way she’d confronted Newton.

She agreed, reluctantly, but I’m not a fucking idiot, I knew she’d do what she felt like she had to do, whether I liked it or not.

My inner, over-protective dick wanted to follow her around for the day, but I knew, behind the need to no one laid a goddamn hand on her, that it would just be counter-productive, so I planned on keeping close tabs the way we’d agreed, and would just have to deal with the fact that if someone fucking touched a hair on her head, I’d be going to jail for manslaughter.

Plus, since my  brother was “on leave”…I figured he could help keep an eye on her.

What?

I had to admit, I was feeling rather decent about the way things were shifting, for the first time that day and when about an hour had passed and my eyes were red and I was wondering when in the hell my mom and sister would get there so we could take the fuck off, I heard some throat clearing and an attempt at a question, “What…?  Time…?” coming from the bed that Swan and I had set up camp next to.

I looked over at a tired old man with the raspy voice who was staring at me like I’d just told him the biggest secret of his life as he smiled at me and I returned the gesture.

“Hey, dad.”